The Prophets Of Jah

Are you ready to enroll into our secret society of pot smokers? If so, read below;

RULES OF REQUIREMENT for becoming a junior member are as follows:

- You must smoke pot

- You must enjoy smoking pot

- You must smoke it every day

- You must enjoy smoking it every day

- You must write to the High Prophet here and tell him why you must absolutely join this new age religion.

Not too fuckin’ bad, is it? If you’re thinking of a higher position, here’s what we have available at the moment:

For Females Only

- Courtesan to the Senior Prophets. Benefits include getting laid (Constantly) and getting stoned for free.

- Belly Dancer of Jah. Benefits are, well, getting stoned for free and shakin’ that thang.

*Please be aware that the getting stoned for free part only applies to members who are 10 feet away or less from a senior member who has pot.

For Males and Females

- Favored One. The Next level after Junior member.

- Grunt, the muscled dumbasses for a brighter future. We can’t get enough of these. If you hold any special talents besides for strength, see what other choices are available.

- Official Jah “Special Brownie” baker. Benefits include getting stoned for free.

- Acolyte. Comes after Favored One.

- Priest of Jah. Very rare, these are actual priests who have converted to preaching the lore of Marijuana. If you meet one, you should be very reverent and respectful.

- Senior Acolyte. After a year or two of being an Acolyte, you might find yourself pushed ahead of the ranks!

- Underhand to a Senior Prophet. What everyone aspires to be. Each senior member can have one, and only one, Underhand, which makes this position very sought after.

- Senior Prophet. The current Senior Prophets are: BigMac and HWM. There is room for one more, as there can never be more than three. These are appointed by the High Prophet STD, avatar of Jah, Founder of it all, and the only way out is death! Mwahahahahahahaha!

- High Prophet. There is only one, and can only be replaced if dead, and then only if another Senior Prophet is elected. To win, there must be a 60% majority for the candidate. Only sanctified members of the priesthood are elegible to vote for a new High Prophet.

The priesthood of Jah would also like to remind you that this religion should be treated lightly. Actually, don’t think about it unless you’re burning one, when you should be praying for the beautiful buds your ungrateful lungs are smoking!

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